Sunday, May 6, 2012

An intimate dysfunction

I complained a while back about my wonky keyboard - specifically, the sticking G key (took me twelve tries to get that!), though there is other stuff wrong besides.  It is still a problem, even after attacking the laptop with a variety of cleaning methods.  And it is having a terrible, and somewhat unexpected, effect...

It is putting a real crimp in my sex life.

Now, this is still Not That Sort Of Blog, so don't expect me to go into explicit details here, but.... SL sex, basically, is cybering with better graphics, and though the graphics can (and do) add to the experience....

:: muses over looking into her lover's silver-gilt eyes, the sight of our bodies entwined together ... ::

... where was I?  Oh, yes.  The graphics enhance the experience, but the experience is still all about communication - effective communication - building up an emotional rapport between the participants, and enabling that to develop to its, ahh, natural conclusion.  And that rapport is just not going to happen unless the communication is articulate, and unimpeded. (A note to any "gentlemen" thinking of approaching ladies with the by now traditional "hi ur hawt want 2 do it?": this is more or less equivalent to tattooing a notice on your forehead saying "I am rubbish in bed".  Unless you have the verbal skills and dexterity to build the mood, it just isn't going to happen.*)

So, yes.  Unimpeded communication is key.  And, it transpires, having bits of one's utterances mysteriously transposed, and having to pause every few seconds to think of a synonym that doesn't have a G in it... is a real mood killer.

I will persevere, of course, because my partner also has needs, and I want to meet them... I want to meet them very much, in fact!  But, there is no point denying it, I am finding this an oddly frustrating situation.

There is a joke in here, somewhere, about being unable to find the G-spot, but I am far too mature to make it.

*Worth noting, of course, that there are ladies, too, with a similar... directness of approach.  And my criticism applies equally to them!


  1. There's one thing that voice communication has going for it, I guess...

    Sauce Sorrowman

    1. Voice communication has its own downsides. Among other things, you would have to envisage my more intimate moments with a background soundtrack of a 79-year old woman saying: "Who are you talking to? Is that those computer people again? Are you on the computer? Can you come and open the jam for me?"

      Being unable to spell "orgasm" pales in comparison.

  2. You might try adopting a fake accent, and substitute "k" for "g".

    "Koot evening, darlink! Come und sit by de fire, und snukkle up to me."

    Works for the Jaegers.